Her words cut deep, not just because of the judgment, but because they came from someone I deeply loved. Here was a woman who had always been my champion, now making me feel like an outsider in my own family for making a choice — the choice to breastfeed my child — that felt so right to me. As a Black physician and new mother, I thought my medical knowledge would shield me from this kind of criticism. Instead, I found myself isolated and questioning everything.
The Weight of History
The roots of breastfeeding hesitation in Black communities run deep. During slavery, Black women were forced to serve as wet nurses for their enslavers’ children, often at the expense of nourishing their own babies. Later, aggressive formula marketing campaigns specifically targeted Black mothers, touting convenience and modernity. These campaigns featured virtually no representation of Black women breastfeeding, cementing the idea that formula was the norm for our community.
The result? Generations of Black families where breastfeeding became unfamiliar, uncomfortable, and ultimately unacceptable.
When Mental Health Meets Cultural Pressure
While other new mothers might rely on their own mothers or sisters for breastfeeding guidance and encouragement, many of us navigate this vulnerable time without that generational support system. For Black women, who research shows are already at higher risk for postpartum depression and anxiety, this cultural backdrop creates a perfect storm. We’re significantly more likely to struggle with postpartum depression, often caught between healthcare providers who dismiss our concerns and communities where admitting mental health struggles still carries stigma. The very moments when we need support most become the times we’re most isolated.
The Isolation of Going Against the Grain
Despite knowing the benefits of breastfeeding (the antibody transfer, the bonding, the financial savings that mattered during my resident salary), I struggled with overwhelming anxiety every single day.
The mental load was staggering. Where would I pump during my hospital shifts? Would my milk stay cold enough? Did I have enough supplies? These practical concerns layered onto deeper fears: Was I betraying my family’s expectations? Was my aunt right that I was wasting my time?
What made the mental health impact even more severe was the complete isolation. While many of my colleagues shared stories of supportive family members, their breastfeeding journey was different than mine. Although my husband and in-laws were supportive, my mother was appalled, and the topic became off-limits between us.
This isolation is particularly cruel for Black women, who benefit significantly from community support during the postpartum period. When that very community becomes a source of stress rather than strength, the mental health consequences can be devastating.
Returning to residency at just four weeks postpartum (while wearing a wound vac due to an infected C-section), I was already vulnerable. Adding the stress of pumping, storing milk, and defending my choices while battling postpartum depression pushed me to my breaking point. I developed shoulder and back problems from carrying my pump throughout the hospital.
I persisted with my youngest daughter for three years, even donating excess milk to help other mothers. But the mental health cost was significant.
Moving Forward
Healthcare professionals need to bring a historical approach to their conversations around breastfeeding with Black women, understanding that she might be carrying a complex history spanning generations of being told formula was superior. She is navigating cultural wounds, family expectations, and personal healing all at once.
We need to create a space where a Black mother who chooses to breastfeed isn’t seen as rejecting her culture, and where a mother who formula feeds isn’t made to feel inadequate. Healthcare providers who truly want to serve Black families must approach these discussions with genuine curiosity rather than assumptions. A mother who feels supported in her feeding choice (whether breast or bottle) is better positioned to care for her child than one who feels isolated and judged.
My breastfeeding journey was “successful” by traditional metrics, but it came at a significant mental health cost. The isolation, the constant need to defend my choices while managing postpartum depression — (these experiences shaped my early motherhood in profound ways).
For Black mothers considering their options: whatever choice you make will be yours to own, free from judgment or apology.
If you’re struggling with postpartum depression or anxiety, please reach out for help. Resources include Postpartum Support International (1-800-944-4773) and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (988).
Before you go, check out our favorite affordable mental health apps:
]]>In mild cases, eczema rashes can be uncomfortable or make you slightly self-conscious. But when a flare-up is in full force? That telltale itchiness can become downright unbearable. It can keep you up at night, cause emotional distress, and even lead to painful, weeping sores or skin infections.
Despite its relatively high prevalence, eczema is a complex condition that can be triggered by a range of things, from irritants in your environment, to your mental and emotional state, and to fluctuations in your hormone levels. That’s why it’s so important to seek treatment from a professional. “Tailored guidance that may include over-the-counter products or prescriptions from a dermatology provider is critical in helping to manage symptoms,” Renata Block, DMSc, PA-C, a physician assistant specializing in dermatology, tells SheKnows.
Luckily, there are plenty of products out there to treat acute flare-ups. You can also take proactive steps to prevent outbreaks. Below, find an overview of everything you need to know about eczema, including what it is, common triggers, and how to prevent and treat flare-ups.
What is eczema?
Eczema is a form of dermatitis, or inflammation of the skin, that causes visible, itchy rashes. “It can be seen on any part of the body and can show up as red, scaly spots that sometimes ooze and blister,” Dr. Alexandra Flamm, MD, a dermatologist with NYU Langone, tells SheKnows. On brown or Black skin, it can present as small, raised, itchy bumps. There are different forms of eczema too, atopic dermatitis being the most common.
Across the board, eczema isn’t contagious, and it’s usually not painful. It often comes and goes throughout a person’s life. Eczema can be connected to your environment, genetic factors, and anything that causes increased inflammation in your body; however, it’s not considered an autoimmune disorder.
Though it often shows up first in childhood, eczema can affect anyone at any age. It can even appear later in life in adults who never had symptoms previously. In fact, “adult women are more likely to have persistent or adult-onset eczema,” Jaliman says. Since women disproportionately shoulder the burden of household cleaning, they’re also more likely to suffer from hand eczema.
If your doctor suspects that you have eczema, they may perform allergy tests or bloodwork to rule out other skin conditions that mimic it. Once you’ve been diagnosed, they’ll equip you with tools to manage symptoms. That may include prescription-strength creams or ointments, oral antihistamines, or gentle lotions that you can purchase OTC.
Common eczema triggers and how they can affect you
When it comes to eczema management, “it’s important to understand what your triggers are and try to avoid them,” Flamm says. Otherwise, it could lead to a flare-up. That’s when symptoms worsen noticeably — a rash may appear or spread, and you’ll typically notice increased itchiness and discomfort. You might even start oozing or bleeding, which can be a sign of a severe flare-up or infection, Jaliman says.
Triggers vary widely. Some are preventable; others involve natural fluctuations in your body and can’t always be prevented, only addressed.
Fragrance
Fragrance is a very common trigger. If you have eczema, you can prevent flare-ups by using fragrance-free makeup, skincare products, body products, laundry detergents, and other household cleaning products. (Read the labels closely — you’d be surprised at how many products contain fragrances!) Flamm also recommends looking for moisturizers that are “geared towards people with eczema-prone skin or contain ceramides, which are important building blocks for skin health.”
Fluctuations in temperature or humidity
Extreme hot or cold weather or the changing of the seasons can trigger flare-ups. So can prolonged exposure to water, like swimming all day or taking long, hot showers. Many patients also report that their symptoms get worse in the winter, when temps are cooler and the air is drier. Jaliman’s advice? Take shorter showers, and avoid using scalding-hot water. Be sure to keep your skin adequately moisturized, and use gentle products that won’t aggravate it.
Irritating fabrics
Many eczema patients find wool, mohair, and certain synthetic fabrics irritating to the touch, which can lead to flare-ups. Generally, Jaliman recommends that her patients wear gentle, breathable fabrics made of natural materials, such as cotton. (A pro tip from yours truly, who’s dealt with eczema for years: Layer a cotton t-shirt underneath your wool sweater to create a barrier.)
Allergic reactions
Per Cleveland Clinic, the connection between allergies and eczema isn’t entirely clear, but anecdotal reports indicate that allergic reactions can lead to flare-ups. Basically, “anything that promotes an inflammatory environment can trigger it,” Block says. If you’re allergic to any common allergens — like certain foods, pet dander, or dust mites — you’ll want to steer clear of them. This will both prevent allergic reactions, which can be life-threatening, and help keep your eczema at bay.
Fluctuations in your hormone levels or stress
“Hormonal fluctuations affect eczema,” Jaliman says, which is key for women and people with uteruses. At certain points in your menstrual cycle, you may notice that you’re more prone to flare-ups. The same logic applies to people who are pregnant and going through perimenopause or menopause.
Like most inflammatory conditions, eczema is also connected to your mental health. Surges in stress, anxiety, or depression can trigger inflammation in the body too, triggering flare-ups.
If any of that applies to you, it’s extra important to stay on top of your eczema management protocol. Avoid known triggers, do what you can to manage stress, and keep your skin moisturized with gentle, eczema-friendly products.
How to manage eczema flare-ups
Think you’re experiencing an eczema flare-up? First things first, reach out to a dermatology provider. They’ll be able to confirm that eczema is the culprit, identify potential triggers, and go over your treatment options. These vary depending on the location and severity of the outbreak.
If the rash is mild or near your eyes, your doctor may prescribe you a non-steroid cream or recommend a non-prescription anti-itch lotion. They may also suggest that you take an oral antihistamine to reduce your body’s immune response. However, if it’s more severe or in a less-sensitive area, you might go home with an Rx for a topical corticosteroid. These powerful ointments work quickly to reduce inflammation and alleviate itchiness, allowing the rash to heal. (As a note, corticosteroids are not safe for long-term use and should only be used “no more than twice a day to flared areas,” Flamm says.)
You’ll also want to monitor the area for infection, Jaliman adds. “Signs include yellow crusting, weeping, swelling, or pain.” If your doctor suspects that your rash has become infected, they’ll likely send you home with a topical or oral antibiotic to nip it in the bud.
As a rule of thumb, avoid scratching at any rashes. “The more you scratch, the worse it gets,” Block explains, “as the scratching triggers an inflammatory response, which worsens the condition.” Instead, focus on reducing inflammation and keeping your skin lightly moisturized.
Before you go, shop our favorite skincare brands for teens:
]]>Anyone with dry-enough skin can have eczema, a condition where inflammation leads to dry, itchy skin. According to Dr. Dina Strachan, board certified dermatologist and owner of Aglow Dermatology in New York, “atopic dermatitis is the most common form of eczema. It tends to be genetic, associated with allergies and asthma, but gets better with age.” Allergies and eczema are actually closely related, as inflammation and skin breakdowns caused by environmental factors, living in urban areas, traffic pollution, smog and genetic factors combine to cause discomfort. In the US, Dr. Strachan tells SheKnows, “African Americans are more prone to eczema and think they can manage it on their own. They do not always have access to board certified dermatologists and don’t treat it like a chronic illness.” Even some dermatologists fail to treat eczema as a chronic condition, she adds.
Eczema is not contagious and is most commonly found on the face, folds of elbows, knuckles, feet, and backs of knees, and even on palms. When the skin’s barrier, which is the largest organ of the body, is broken down by external elements, eczema shows up in multiple ways. According to physicians at the Cleveland Clinic, eczema may present as “atopic dermatitis, contact dermatitis, Dyshidrotic eczema, neurodermatitis, nummular eczema and seborrheic dermatitis.” The type and severity will differ from person to person.
Why Does Eczema Get Worse in the Summer?
Typically, the best conditions for eczema are dry cold environments like the northeast and southwest — and indoors, where we can use heat and/or air conditioning to keep bodies warm during the winter and cool during summers. Hot showers and strong soap may feel good, but strip natural oils from your skin, setting the stage for an eczema flareup. Additionally, humid temperatures can intensify symptoms for some people “due to increased exposure to allergens like pollen, and summer activities like swimming in chlorinated pools, which can dry out and irritate the skin,” says Dr. Hadley King, board certified dermatologist specializing in medical and cosmetic dermatology. “Increased sweating when it’s hot and humid outside can also irritate sensitive skin and worsen eczema symptoms.”
This is certainly the case for licensed esthetician Jaqueline “Jaq” Gibson, who tells SheKnows, “I’ve had eczema my whole life, and in summer and winter, it drives me crazy.” As eczema is a blend of genetics and environmental factors, diet is also a possible causal factor. Gibson — who has tried everything, including steroid based creams — is still searching for an answer. “I still haven’t quite figured out what bothers me other than excessive sugar and dairy. Alkaline water seems to clear my skin faster.” Hydration for better skin and determining food allergies that stimulate inflammation may make a difference for those suffering from eczema.
How To Manage Eczema in the Summer
While some eczema treatments are important to use year-round — including any prescriptions or recommendations from your doctor — there are also a few things you do during these hot months to relieve some symptoms. Being hydrated during hot weather, for example, is especially important during the summer, when we’re spending more outdoors, enjoying time with family at picnics, barbeques, or time in nature. These activities, along with swimming at home or at the beach, should include a plan to keep eczema and other skin conditions at bay. That can include:
Showering after taking a dip in the swimming pool. While chlorine is used to kill bacteria to keep the pool clean, its chemicals irritate eyes, wrinkle fingers and toes, damages hair and dries skin. A quick rinse and reapplication of sunscreen will go a long way in reducing itching and discomfort.
Taking salt water dips to soothe the skin. Don’t miss a chance to take a swim in the ocean or a salt water pool this summer. Known as an exfoliant, salt water reduces skin inflammation may help relieve eczema symptoms like inflammation, lichenification, and cracking, according to a 2016 scientific review. On the other hand, if the salty water makes you itch, Dr. Strachan suggests using the showers at the beach to rinse off.
Rinsing your hair when the pollen count is high. Pollen is kryptonite to allergy sufferers, whose immune systems trigger inflammation and the body’s automatic release of histamines that lead to sneezing, watery eyes, hives and itchy nose and throats. “I recommend using an air purifier, air filter, and dust mite covers for pillow cases and mattresses,” Dr. Strachan said. You should also prioritize showering washing your hair, and changing when you come in from the outdoors, which helps to reduce the amount of pollen you spread throughout your house and on to furniture.
Another tip to keep in mind is moisturizing — but not in the way you might think. It may seem intuitive to apply heavy creams to dry, patchy, or scaly skin, but these kinds of moisturizers can actually aggravate your skin. In fact, “with increased humidity during the summer, less moisture is lost from our skin into the air,” Dr. King explains. “Ingredients like petrolatum, coconut oil and shea butter can feel too heavy. Lighter emollients may be preferred.”
Dr. King also recommends hypochlorous acid as “a very effective antiseptic that uses the same technology as bleach to kill microbes, but it’s not bleach and doesn’t bleach clothing, etc. And it’s not drying the way alcohol is. It has also been shown to reduce bacterial colonization and severity of eczema.” In product form, SkinSmart Antimicrobial Eczema Therapy’s active ingredient is hypochlorous acid. Dr. King explains that “the spray delivery makes it very easy to use, either at home or on-the-go — just spray and then let it air dry, no scrubbing required.” It doesn’t leave a residue and is “great to use” on any eczema-prone areas, Dr. King says.
Other strategies include using a lotion or cream immediately after showering or bathing to lock in moisture. Dr. Strachan recommends Eucerin Advance Repair Lotion, which she notes is not sticky and has good substantivity and lasts about 24 hours, and La Roche-Posay Triple Repair Moisturizer For Dry Skin.
When it comes to dealing with eczema in the summertime, it’s good to rely on a mix of these tools — just don’t forget to check in with your doctor before trying a new product or strategy. After all, summer should be a time for fun, freedom, and glowing, sun-kissed skin, hopefully with a minimum of itching.
Before you go, check out these top skincare tips from the Internet’s favorite dermatologist:
]]>For the actor, it’s a cause with personal meaning. Diggs’ younger sister, Christian, was diagnosed with schizophrenia in her late 20s, and today, the siblings work with Bristol Myers Squibb on the “Live Your PosSCZible” campaign to not only raise awareness about schizophrenia but also help create possibilities for those living with it.
The pair co-hosted an LA talent event featuring the schizophrenia community, and Diggs says to SheKnows that he’s excited for people to see how “well-rounded, artistic, and multi-layered folks are who are diagnosed with schizophrenia.”
Per NIMH, schizophrenia is a serious mental condition that affects 2.4 million adults in the US alone. It can come with hallucinations, delusions, and disordered thinking that could heavily affect daily functioning. It can be impairing, but it doesn’t have to define you — and that’s what this sibling duo wants to remind everyone.
“It was a wonderful example of just how these folks are not letting the diagnosis define them. I saw these people on stage, and they were brilliant artists as opposed to people struggling and dealing with schizophrenia. I saw that side of them, that facet, and it was really eye-opening,” Diggs says. “I’m grateful. I’m continuing to learn and my eyes continue to be open wider and wider as far as what life with these differences has in store.”
Is it any surprise to fans that during his chat with SheKnows, he answered each question so thoughtfully, pondering every word he uttered to make sure people truly felt what he was saying. Whether it was talking about what he learned through his sister’s experiences, his own journey with mental health, or even talking about the lessons he’s teaching his teen son, Diggs spoke about everything with such care.
His words are a reminder that we all need to be gentle with people, including ourselves.
Diggs spoke with SheKnows about mental health, parenting his biracial son, and what he wants people to know about the schizophrenia community.
When asked what he wished people knew more about the schizophrenia community, Diggs responds that he wants people to know “that there is a community.” He says, “Because I know when my sister was diagnosed, both my sister and I found ourselves feeling alone. It’s very easy to fall back and kind of go inwards as opposed to being made aware that there are others out there who have similar struggles. I can see my sister just kind of relaxing, realizing, and being reminded that there are others out there who have similar situations. That’s something that really counts.”
As you can imagine, Diggs and his sister also experienced the racial disparity in the schizophrenia community, and the mental health community at large. Per RTOR, Black American adults are 20 percent more likely to experience serious mental health problems, and more than 80 percent of Black Americans are very concerned about the stigma, discouraging them from seeking treatment.
When it comes to breaking the stigmas, Diggs’ advice is simple: “Just do the research!” He says, “For me, it was just being exposed, having the courage to ignore my initial thoughts of pulling away.”
But he also wants people to know that it isn’t easy. But luckily, “it takes work, and it’s another thing that people need to realize,” he says. “It’s not gonna be easy. I think that’s part of life and I feel proud of my sister and myself because my whole family knows that we’re in it… No matter how we or other people may think it should end, we’re in there [and] that’s what feels really good.”
Diggs himself has tough days when it comes to maintaining his mental health. “That’s an ongoing experience as well because a lot of times, I will convince myself that I am okay but then my body will just shut down. So it’s something that I’m still kind of learning. Meditating helps, breathing helps. Creating boundaries and setting yourself up to succeed, whatever that is. It’s kind of forcing yourself to check in, but then also being patient with yourself.”
While he’s teaching himself better practices every day, he’s doing the same with his teen son, Walker Nathaniel, whom Diggs shares with ex Idina Menzel. Being a teen in 2025 isn’t easy, but Diggs is helping his son along the way, including explaining schizophrenia and other mental health conditions.
“I’m here, just exposing him,” he says. “I tell him what’s going on and how it goes down, how everything goes down, what my sister is feeling, and how she felt. Just giving him the blow-by-blow as I experience it, just so I can dispel any images that he may have seen on television or whatnot. And also making sure that he knows that everybody’s situation is different. I think it can be easy to be exposed to one kind of specific idea and then think that everything else following that is the same, and that’s not the case.”
The Private Practice alum added, “He’s a teen, so I can only I can only say so much to him before I get my cool card revoked. Just letting him know that everybody’s different and to not make assumptions, just listen to people, and try to be as supportive as possible before passing judgment.”
Along with helping him navigate mental health, Diggs is also working hard to make sure Walker feels seen, protected, and empowered. Diggs reflected that with most things in parenting, it’s “an everyday experience.”
“This is one thing that I’m sure about: the moment I think I have it figured out, I know I don’t. So I do my best to kind of be in the moment and trust my experiences. I just gotta live with what happens afterwards where we’re all doing the best we can. The way I was raised and the situation and the issues that that I had to deal with are completely different for him,” he explains. “He’s biracial. So already, he’s coming into the game with different kind of different rules. But he’s also a different person than I am, he’s built differently.”
What does he mean by differently? Well, Digg explains, “He’s far more confident. I went through a nerdy awkward stage, and he’s just mister cool dude. I’m dealing with him as he did and doing the best to kind of long listen as opposed to teach and listen. But if there are moments when I can kind of use my experiences to help, I try and I think most importantly, it’s just the support, love, and attention.”
To fellow parents of teens, Diggs recommends being “patient with themselves and to be patient with your kid.”
Say it louder for the people in the back!
When it comes down to it, kids need love, support, attention, and, as Diggs says, both parents and teens need another attribute for a happy home. He says to fellow parents of teens that they need to be “patient with themselves and to be patient with your kid.”
“There are times when you try to be in the moment and every situation is different, but make sure that the child knows you’re there… There are certain times when teens need to be kind of coaxed and then other times when you say, ‘Okay. When you wanna say something, I’m here,'” he says. “I think it’s important that they know that you’re there to support them, no matter what.”
In case you’re not familiar with eczema, it is a chronic condition that causes the skin to become excessively dry and itchy while causing blistering, cracked skin and skin discoloration. Although eczema is quite common, it’s rarely talked about in terms of body image, mental health and how it can trigger anxiety and depression — but in reality, that’s a huge part of living with the condition.
In my experience, living with eczema can be an attack on one’s self-esteem and often changes our self-perception, no matter the age. Eczema can cause self-doubt based on how you believe others view the condition and can give you a flawed sense of reality. It means wearing long sleeves, turtlenecks and pants in the summertime so the dark, distorted skin on my neck, inner folds of my elbow and behind my knees can’t be seen, creating a groundswell of moments I feel I need to lock myself in the house. It means having a dark, irritated ring around my mouth while working in customer service, trying to “look the part” when I felt like a beast. In my worst days, I’d call out to avoid the potential of being unpleasant.
I’ve lived with eczema my entire childhood, through parts of my adulthood, and having the constant need to claw at your own skin is one of the worst feelings. The worst of my bout with eczema was in adolescence and came with a constant uneasiness, hoping that none of my friends or others could see just how bad it was.
Having had eczema in noticeable areas and having to find ways of covering it up also brought about severe anxiety. For me, it triggers a feeling of not wanting to be around people or in social situations due to the noticeable change in appearance and constantly needing to pick at the irritation. Mentally, having a condition like eczema can make others see you as dirty or unkempt, although chances are people who have it are constantly washing to keep the skin moist or maybe just hoping it goes down the drain.
While there are many different remedies, from holistic to over-the-counter and prescription medicines, those of us living with the condition have a never-ending period of trial and error to try to find a treatment that works. I have tried many holistic and prescription treatments that seemed to exacerbate my eczema and further irritate my skin. I have also tried and failed with many over-the-counter topical creams that did absolutely nothing as well.
Going through so many different options that seemed to have worked so well for others can also cause someone to grapple with depression. The reality is there is no one cure, and everyone has a different experience with their eczema. One person’s eczema may be due to dietary allergies, while another may be due to weather conditions or irritants in their laundry detergent. It is not a cut-and-dry solution, and it has to be treated based on the individual.
As a 38-year-old adult, my body will start to itch or irritate almost instantaneously at the slightest use of the wrong soap or detergent, dairy, and even too much sugar in my diet. I spent years having to investigate what exactly was exacerbating my condition versus everything that I was seeing online. Thanks to these efforts, eczema hasn’t plagued me for many years.
As society begins to move into an era when we acknowledge those who live with skin conditions, it’s important that body image is not seen as a linear ideology. Most people who live with conditions like eczema cannot cover the condition with makeup or certain fabrics due to the irritation that erupts from the skin at contact.
By affirming the beauty of imperfection, it gives hope to the many who are living in the shadows. We shouldn’t have to live in fear that we are not good enough or attractive enough, or that we’re in some way cursed because we have anything other than the radiant, glowing skin that’s often advertised as the ideal. Even as those of us with eczema seek treatments and relief, we should all remember that beautiful skin doesn’t have to equal perfect skin. Imperfections are beautiful and worthy too.
Before you go, read about these celebs who’ve shared their health issues to end stigma:
According to the Cleveland Clinic, one rare and life-threatening condition that disproportionately affects Black women is peripartum cardiomyopathy. Also known as PPCM, this condition is a pregnancy-related weakness of the heart muscle that sometimes develops during the final month of pregnancy through about five months post-delivery. PPCM is more prevalent in Southern U.S. regions and symptoms include fatigue, shortness of breath, swollen ankles and feet, weight gain, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, and chest pain.
One indication of the seriousness of PPCM can be measured by the ejection fraction, the percentage of blood the heart pumps out with each beat. A normal ejection fraction number is about 60 percent; with PPCM, it drops to less than 45 percent.
High blood pressure, preeclampsia, diabetes, and older age are all associated with the development of PPCM, but many patients do not have risk factors. Black women are also more likely to develop PPCM — potentially up to three times more likely when compared to white women, according to a recent study.
In recognition of Black Maternal Health Week, we spoke to three brave women who are sharing their stories of PPCM to help others facing similar challenges.
“How could this happen?”
Tina Marsden of Atlanta, Georgia was just 28 when she began experiencing trouble breathing shortly after the birth of her second child. An emergency room visit led to a diagnosis of walking pneumonia, but Marsden’s symptoms worsened. Knowing to advocate for herself, Marsden insisted doctors conduct multiple tests and was diagnosed with PPCM. If that news wasn’t devastating enough, she was told she would not live to see her son grow up. “My initial thought was how could this happen? I’ve always been healthy and athletic,” she recalled. “I wanted answers on what my diagnosis meant, and what I could do to get better.”
Marsden learned there are different ways to treat and live with heart failure including, medications, life-saving devices, or a heart transplant. Her doctors tried various approaches over several years. Marsden did her part, too, by changing her diet and walking 30 minutes daily. She was ultimately fitted for the Abbott HeartMate II heart pump (also known as a left ventricular assist device or LVAD) which has kept her alive for over two decades. Marsden now serves as a peer support specialist and legislative advocate working to educate mothers facing the same diagnosis on resources and available solutions; her sons are now 30 and 22.
“Quitting is never an option”
In her 30’s, Tracey Young of Chicago, Illinois, was overweight and in poor health. In 1997, following her second pregnancy, Young was diagnosed with PPCM and told she wouldn’t live to see her daughter grow up. “My first thought was fear,” she says of the diagnosis. “I was afraid to die and concerned about leaving my husband alone to raise our children.” Her son was two and her daughter was just six weeks old. Feeling defeated, Young began to get her affairs in order and plan her funeral. She prayed and asked God to help her fight for her life.
Young followed her doctor’s medical advice and made significant dietary changes, losing 75 pounds. Despite seeing improvements, old habits and the weight gradually crept back. She began missing medication doses and doctor’s appointments, and the familiar symptoms returned, leading to hospitalizations. She was repeatedly warned that her health would only deteriorate but ignored the warnings. In October 2007, Young hit the wall. “I could no longer work my job as a social worker or walk short distances due to severe shortness of breath,” she recalls. “Simple tasks like showering became overwhelming. My husband and daughter supported me with daily activities like dressing and cooking.” In 2008, she suffered a second heart attack. Staring death squarely in the face, her mother reminded her in the ICU that she had kids to raise. Those words ignited a fight and she adopted the mantra, “Quitting is Never an Option.”
In 2012, Young was implanted with the Abbott HeartMate II LVAD. Despite the doctor’s predictions, she witnessed her daughter graduate from college, but the joy hasn’t been without sorrow. In April 2023, the Youngs lost their 26-year-old son, Frank Jr., to a massive heart attack. The LVAD has empowered Young to achieve goals she once deemed impossible, including completing a 3k run (even though she walked). She works out regularly at the gym, lifts weights, explores outdoor trails, and prepares healthy meals for her family. Young founded the non-denominational But God Ministries in Wheaton, Illinois, and a women’s empowerment ministry called W.E.A.P. (Women of Excellence, Ambition, and Purpose) to educate and uplift women, especially young women, to recognize their worth and prioritize their health before a significant medical crisis. “On June 10, 2024, my name was finally added to the national registry for heart transplants,” says Young. “It took me 4,440 days to achieve this goal.”
“My story is far too common”
Tiara Johnson developed PPCM in her late 20’s during the last month of her second pregnancy. Before she could be listed for a heart transplant, the doctor told her she would have to lose 100 pounds. “Adjusting my lifestyle wasn’t just about what I ate or how I moved, it was a mental, emotional, and physical battle,” she says. A nutritionist helped her understand her body with the condition, and she focused on heart-healthy nutrition, portion control, and building sustainable habits. “Every bite became a choice to fight for my life. Every pound I lost was hope for me. As the scale changed, so did my thought process.” She still follows a cardiac diet but confesses to an occasional Oreo.
To manage the disease while she waited on the heart transplant list, doctors implanted the Detroit mom with both the Abbott HeartMate 3 left ventricular assist device (LVAD) that allowed her heart to heal and the Abbott CardioMEMS, a sensor device the size of a paperclip that remotely flags early warning signs of worsening heart failure to her care team. At 31, Johnson successfully underwent transplant surgery. While she no longer has a heart pump, she continues to rely on the sensor to monitor her heart health. Today, now living in Missouri, her faith, determination, and life-saving technologies, plus the support of her husband and daughters, 17-year-old, Aranee’ and 9-year-old A’zuri, keep her grounded and focused. She is also committed to helping educate others about black maternal health through @pulsewithpurpose (currently on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube), a space for women living with heart failure to talk about and navigate their care journey.
“The most difficult part about living with PPCM is feeling invisible in a system that wasn’t built to protect us,” Johnson explains. “My story is far too common — being dismissed, misdiagnosed, and sent home when I knew something was wrong.” As Johnson says, she didn’t choose this diagnosis, “but I’ve had to carry it while also carrying the burden of racial bias in healthcare. The hardest part hasn’t just been the physical illness—it’s been surviving a system that overlooks black women’s pain and then trying to heal in a world that keeps asking us to be strong without giving us the support or safety to do so.”
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]]>According to the CDC, psoriasis is a chronic, autoimmune skin disease that accelerates the growth cycle of skin cells. This can cause a person’s skin to become dry, flaky, scaly, or itchy. (Psoriasis rashes can disappear and reappear throughout a person’s life based on situational factors like illness or stress levels, a phenomenon known as “flare-ups.”)
Psoriasis not contagious, and it mostly occurs in adults, although children can be diagnosed too. There is no cure for the condition, but symptoms can be managed with topical medications and stress-relief measures.
Eczema, also known as atopic dermatitis, presents similarly, with patches of dry, severely itchy skin. This condition is also chronic, but it is not considered an autoimmune disease. According to the National Eczema Association, experts believe it is caused by “an interaction between a person’s environment and their genes,” in which topical irritants or allergens trigger an outsized immune response. Eczema’s characteristic itchiness can be managed by using topical creams, moisturizers, and cold compresses, and by avoiding known itch triggers.
Since the dry, flaky skin patches associated with psoriasis, eczema, and other conditions like perioral dermatitis (which causes a facial rash) are often highly visible, these conditions can be a huge source of shame, insecurity, or loneliness. Psoriasis in particular is still shrouded in stigma. Per the National Psoriasis Association, many people mistakenly believe that psoriasis is contagious, a harmful misconception that affects how people with psoriasis flare-ups are treated.
Chronic health issues are nothing to be ashamed of, and that includes skin conditions. Luckily, many public figures are doing their part to raise awareness about them. Celebrities like Kim Kardashian, Jessica Simpson, Jonathan Van Ness, and LeeAnn Rimes have all used their platforms to speak firsthand about what it’s like to live with a chronic skin condition.
Read on to learn more about nine celebrities who have opened up publicly about battling psoriasis, eczema, perioral dermatitis, and other chronic skin conditions.
]]>This level of anxiety is only amplified when you’re a Black mom, as you’re now trying to make sure that two lives receive proper care. It’s not easy. According to a 2018 California Health Report’s findings, health providers often don’t listen to mothers about their birth preferences and African American women are the least likely to be listened to, which in turn increases the risk of death and complications for the mothers and their babies. In addition, a 2023 CDC survey found that 30 percent of Black women reported mistreatment during maternal care, with 40 percent of Black women reporting that they also experienced discrimination.
The anxiety this causes can make it difficult for Black moms-to-be to feel comfortable asking their doctor questions, often leaving without a full understanding of a diagnosis and next steps. To help combat this, Dr. Camille Clare, MD, MPH, Chair of the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at SUNY Downstate Medical Center and Professor at the College of Medicine and the School of Public Health, suggests preparing before a doctor’s visit.
“One of the main things you can do is develop trust with your provider,” Dr. Clare tells SheKnows. “If you have any questions about anything particular that you’re worried about, come in with those questions so that you can start the dialogue with your physician.” Read below for additional things Black moms can say to their doctors when they aren’t being heard and to help facilitate trust between doctor and patient.
Ask them to repeat themselves
One of the main things Black moms-to-be can do in the doctor’s office when they feel like they aren’t being heard is to tell their physician to repeat themselves. “When a woman goes to a health care provider, it’s important to jot down notes based on the conversation so you can refer back to it,” Dr. Peggy Roberts, a doctoral prepared, board-certified, New York licensed Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner and founder of Trust Women’s Healthcare, tells SheKnows. “I think that that’s very important, especially if you’re hearing something that is not expected or getting some bad news. To make sure you’re getting everything, ask the provider to repeat the information.”
Tell them to give you additional resources and literature
Dr. Roberts also suggests telling your doctor to provide you with some literature you can refer to or additional resources. Dr. Clare agrees. “I sometimes refer my patients to the internet for resources that I know are accurate,” Dr. Clare says. “I don’t get one dollar if you check those sources, but I know I can rely on them. For example, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists is a very reliable source of information for my patients. They also have a patient-facing website where my patients can get more information beyond our visit together.”
Tell them, “You’re not addressing my issues or concerns.“
When it comes to communicating with your doctor, transparency is key. That’s why Dr. Roberts says it’s best to be honest. “Saying, ‘I don’t think you’re listening or understanding my concerns,’ is okay. I’ve had patients who have said that to prior providers and even to me. Sometimes providers go through the spiel, thinking that we’re addressing everything, but there might be something we missed — we’re human. So be transparent and honest so the provider can rephrase.”
Ask them why they aren’t hearing you
As mentioned, many doctors tend to dismiss and ignore the feelings and questions of their Black, female patients. This could be due to a lack of experience with patients of color or racial bias. In the same vein as being transparent, Black moms should feel empowered to figure out why a doctor isn’t hearing what they’re saying. If they don’t agree or understand a prescription or treatment, they should tell their doctor to note that in their chart.
Tell them you want a different provider
If all of the above fails, the truth is that there are many healthcare providers out there. “If you’re not connecting with the person you’re scheduled to see, you can choose to have another provider, especially if it’s not an emergency situation,” says Dr. Clare. She adds that in addition to looking elsewhere for a physician, it never hurts to seek a second opinion. “Look into finding someone else that you can connect with,” Dr. Clare says. “It’s not a problem to seek another opinion. It’s your right to be heard and to have an open dialogue with whoever’s taking care of you.”
You can learn more about the health crisis facing Black moms and birthing people here.
]]>Eczema affects 31 million people in the US alone, according to the National Eczema Association. Known for causing red, itchy, and inflamed plaques of skin, eczema can be a tough skin condition to manage, especially because it cause breakouts anywhere on your body. The most common areas include “the insides of the elbows and backs of the knees, as well as wrists and neck,” board-certified dermatologist Dr. Hadley King tells SheKnows, but “any area can be affected.” That’s why those of us struggling with this condition need a good body wash product to fall back on, one that cleanses and freshens your skin without drying it out.
To find a body wash that’s right for you, it’s important to remember that eczema (aka atopic dermatitis) is “more than just a superficial skin issue,” Dr. Calvin Williams, a dermatologist at Essential Dermatology Group, tells SheKnows. “It’s a reflection of an immune system in distress and a person’s genetics, and the condition is often exacerbated by environmental triggers and stress.” Common symptoms include intense itching, patches of red and scaly skin, and dryness.
Eczema Body Wash Ingredients to Look For
Soothing and hydrating these irritated areas of your skin is essential, so when it comes to eczema body washes, some key ingredients include:
Shea butter, which contains fatty acids such as linoleic, oleic, and stearic acids to “help retain moisture on the skin and reduce risk of dryness,” cosmetic dermatologist Dr. Michele Green tells SheKnows.
Glycerin, a humectant (moisture-preserving substance) that “attracts and pulls water from the environment to hydrate the skin,” Green explains.
Colloidal oatmeal. Yes, oatmeal belongs in your skincare and your breakfast menu. According to Green, this ingredient is great for calming inflammation and shielding the skin from irritants while locking in moisture.
Vitamin E, or panthenol. This antioxidant “can protect the skin from environmental and oxidative stress and reduce skin redness and inflammation,” Green says.
Hyaluronic acid, also known as the moisturizing ingredient. “Hyaluronic acid can hold up to 1,000 times its weight in water,” Williams explains, “significantly enhancing skin’s moisture content.”
Ceramides. These are lipids that help form your skin’s barrier and keep it moisturized. That’s “especially important for eczema-prone skin,” Williams says, which often has “a compromised barrier function and a loss of the normal ceramide levels.”
Occlusives, aka oils and waxes that “form an inert layer on the skin and physically block transepidermal water loss,” says King. Occlusives to look for include petrolatum, beeswax, mineral oil, silicones, lanolin, and zinc oxide.
Peptides. “Many individuals with eczema find that anti-aging products such as retinoids are far too harsh on their skin,” Dr. Dendy Engelman, a board-certified cosmetic dermatologist and Mohs surgeon at Shafer Clinic in New York City, tells SheKnows. Instead, she recommends purified pepitdes, which are “made for sensitive skin and gently help to address signs of aging.”
If you’re ready to try a new body wash for your eczema, it’s always a good idea to talk with your dermatologist, who can recommend products based on your skin’s unique needs. But if you’re looking for quick, general, doctor-approved solutions, you’ve come to the right place. Ahead, we rounded up dermatologists’ favorite body washes for eczema to help you find relief.
Best Body Washes for Eczema Recommended by Dermatologists, at a Glance
Best overall: Cetaphil Restoraderm Soothing Wash
Best for sensitive skin: Eucerin Eczema Relief Cream and Body Wash
Best oat formula: Aveeno’s Fragrance-Free Body Wash for Sensitive, Itchy, Dry Skin
Best cleansing oil: La Roche-Posay Lipikar AP+ Gentle Foaming Cleansing Oil
Best budget option: Dove Sensitive Skin Beauty Bar
Best bubbly body wash: Beauty Pie Super Healthy Skin Moisturizing Shea Butter Suds Body Wash
Best bar soap: Beekman 1802 Lilac Dream Goat Milk Soap
Most versatile: Carter + Jane’s Naked The Everything Soap
BEST OVERALL
Cetaphil Restoraderm Soothing Wash
Recommended by three different dermatologists, Cetaphile Restoraderm Soothing Wash is formulated for “very dry, irritated skin,” says Williams. It packs a punch with nine different moisturizers, including glycerin and shea butter, which “hydrate the skin and repair the body’s natural moisture barrier,” Williams explains. “It also contains vitamin E to reduce skin inflammation and sensitivity.”
BEST FOR SENSITIVE SKIN
Eucerin Eczema Relief Cream & Body Wash
Designed to be non-irritating and non-drying, Eucerin Eczema Relief Cream and Body Wash is a good choice for sensitive skin. “It is enriched with colloidal oatmeal which helps protect and soothe the skin,” Dr. Barry Goldman of Barry Goldman Dermatology tells SheKnows, adding that this body wash is “well-liked by my patients.”
BEST OAT FORMULA
Aveeno’s Fragrance-Free Body Wash for Sensitive, Itchy, Dry Skin
Green calls Aveeno’s Fragrance-Free Body Wash for Sensitive, Itchy, Dry Skin an “excellent” choice for soothing eczema symptoms. “Its formulation contains a soothing triple oat formula to reduce irritation and moisturize the skin,” she explains. “This body wash is free of parabens, dyes, sulfates, and soaps and has been allergy tested, making it well-suited for individuals with eczema.”
BEST CLEANSING OIL
La Roche-Posay Lipikar AP+ Gentle Foaming Cleansing Oil
Goldman says he personally uses this unique cleansing oil from La Roche-Posay, which is accepted by the National Eczema Association and formulated for dry and extra dry skin. “Body washes enriched with shea butter and glycerin may leave a protective layer on the skin,” he explains. This cleanser has both, along with La Roche-Posay spring water and niacinamide to soothe and restore your skin’s moisture barrier.
BEST BUDGET OPTION
Dove Sensitive Skin Beauty Bar
“I often recommend Dove Sensitive Skin Bar Soap to my patients with eczema,” Williams says. He likes this beauty bar because of its “gentle, hypoallergenic formula,” which is “enriched with moisturizing creams that nourish the skin, rather than stripping it of natural oils like many traditional soaps.” At less than $10, it’s also one of the more budget-friendly (but still effective) options on this list.
BEST BUBBLY BODY WASH
Beauty Pie Super Healthy Skin Moisturizing Shea Butter Suds Body Wash
This sudsy, luxurious body wash from Beauty Pie leaves even the driest, eczema-prone skin feeling soft and supple. “The creamy and moisturizing formulation has humectant, emollient and occlusive properties with ingredients like glycerin, sweet almond oil, coconut oil and shea butter,” says King, who recommends this body wash for people with eczema. It’s also “soothing and anti-inflammatory” thanks to ingredients like aloe vera, she says, and doesn’t include sulfates or harsh detergents.
BEST BAR SOAP
Beekman 1802 Lilac Dream Goat Milk Soap
With a soothing lavender scent and creamy texture, this goat milk soap from Beekman 1802 is a luxurious choice at a budget price for people with eczema. As King points out, it’s full of “glycerin, goat milk, jojoba seed oil, kukui nut oil and shea butter [to] hydrate the skin, support the skin barrier, and help to lock in moisture.”
MOST VERSATILE
Carter + Jane's Naked The Everything Soap
It’s called The Everything Soap for a reason. This wash from Carter + Jane is meant to replace not only your body wash but also your facial cleanser and hand soap, and its moisturizing ingredients make it a great choice for those with eczema. “Glycerin, moringa seed oil, baobab seed oil and prickly pear seed oil hydrate and moisturize the skin, supporting the skin barrier,” King explains. It also skips out on harsh detergents while staying microbiome-friendly, she adds.
Ingredients To Avoid in Eczema Body Wash
As important as grabbing the right body wash for your eczema is avoiding the ones that don’t work so well. It’s a good idea to “avoid harsh soaps, sulfates, and alcohol-based products, as they can strip natural oils and exacerbate dryness and irritation,” dermatologist and chief medical officer at DermOnDemand Dr. Hannah Kopelman tells SheKnows. She also recommends steering clear of parabens and fragrances. (You’ll notice some of these products have fragrances, so it’s best to clear these with your dermatologist first and use them on a small amount of skin to start.) Alcohols, dyes, and other harsh chemicals are also red-flag ingredients to avoid.
Harsh or exfoliating cleansers aren’t good choices for eczema-prone skin either, as they can further dry out the skin. If you’re treating acne, watch out for ingredients like glycolic or salicylic acid too. While these are often used in acne-prone or oily skin, Goldman says, “they may be irritating and aggravate eczema prone skin by disturbing the skin barrier.”
How To Use Eczema Body Wash
Once you’ve picked the right eczema body wash for you, massage it into your skin for about a minute, using your hands or a soft wash cloth. “Remember that body washes are only supposed to stay on your skin for a short amount of time,” Williams says. “Patients who leave the washes on their skin for extended periods of time will often face irritation, despite using even the most gentle of body washes.”
Rinse thoroughly using lukewarm water (hot temperatures “can cause excess stress to your skin and strip it of its natural oils,” Engelman says) and pat your skin dry. Follow up your cleansing routine by applying a fragrance-free, hydrating lotion, Engelman says. “I also like to recommend using more than one product on your skin after your shower to provide multiple barriers,” she says. “Always layer products from thinnest to thickest.”
If you experience painful or bleeding skin due to eczema-related itching, Engelman recommends talking to a dermatologist. “They can give you the best guidance on products to use and help you to understand your specific skin’s sensitivities better.”
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]]>The gravity of Jasmine Marie’s work — and the name of her company itself — is so powerfully encompassed into three words: black girls breathing. Since 2018, she has dedicated her life to activism by helping Black women to heal their nervous systems as a breathwork practitioner, CEO, and speaker. Despite having a vocation that aims to release the weight of the world from marginalized shoulders, Jasmine Marie still finds the conception of her first book to be quite humorous.
“I’m laughing because I didn’t see myself writing a book,” she admits. “Transparently, I had been approached by publishers in the past and I always said no. I was really focused on the work. I felt like writing a book — I always envisioned it later on in my career — would maybe be a distraction to me doing the work right now.”
Thankfully, one publisher was able to cut through Jasmine Marie’s incredulousness: Balance, an imprint helmed by a fellow Black woman. Through the insistence by vice president Nana K. Twumasi that a book could be a continuation of her mission, black girls breathing’s lead visionary now holds the title of author. Her first written work, Black Girls Breathing: Heal from Trauma, Combat Chronic Stress, and Find Your Freedom, serves as a guide for Black women to discover the power of breathwork through insights along her journey from stressed-out hustler to wellness luminary.
In the midst of heightened political combat fueled by hatred and violence against the very community Jasmine Marie serves, the book-that-almost-didn’t-happen couldn’t be more essential. Across the country, Black women are continuing to cope with distress by prioritizing their health, and her latest offering is in deep alignment with their needs. So she’s vowed to set it free.
“I did my part that I felt compelled to do,” she says, “and I hope it finds the people who need the resource,” she says way more modestly than you might expect.
Black Girls Breathing: Heal from Trauma, Combat Chronic Stress, and Find Your Freedom by Jasmine Marie
The systems that we live under gain so much from us staying disconnected from our bodies, especially right now. Talk to me about how breathwork reconnects the mind and the body and why the reestablishing of that connection is so powerful.
Breathwork is a tool that activates our parasympathetic nervous system; it’s the part of our nervous system that governs the ‘rest and digest’ functionalities in our bodies. There’s different types of nervous systems in our body, but the part of our nervous system that governs ‘fight or flight,’ producing a lot of adrenaline, stress hormones, and things of that nature, is activated for most of us people of color—for Black people. Because of our trauma, because of the generational trauma, individual trauma, societal trauma, the daily stressors that we have on our shoulders, that’s our rest state. Our rest state is in ‘fight or flight.’
So when it comes to our bodies responding to additional stress when it’s already in that state, no wonder we’re experiencing depression and irritability; it’s that lack of having capacity. Our bodies simply don’t have capacity. So the breath is meant to reset our nervous systems, to help it allow it to begin to have capacity for those daily stressors and give our body the tool to naturally jump in when there’s anxiety and stress by activating that parasympathetic nervous system.
But it’s just like a muscle. If you’re chronically stressed, that part of our bodies really hasn’t been activated, it’s been suppressed. So using the breath to activate and turn on that part of our nervous system is allowing us to show up in those moments of extreme stress or daily stress as balanced as can be. Having tools inherently and working our body up to where it has what it needs to combat those moments is the work. And to your point, when we’re scattered we don’t feel grounded, we can’t organize, can’t think, we’re making irrational decisions. And so simply making the space to feel grounded in our bodies, have level-headed thinking and making sure our body is functioning properly, is activism.
The Black Girls Breathing book has three subtitles: Heal From Trauma, Combat Chronic Stress, Find Your Freedom. Is that sort of the path that you took? How do those three steps outline your personal journey?
That’s such a great question. I would say yes. I was chronically stressed working in New York City and kept having physical sensations of that stress. I found breathwork as a tool and used it personally. It was many years, six years of usage before I went to go get training for it. And then black girls breathing was birthed out of training for hosting group sessions. I feel like life is cyclical, so I’m always relearning lessons at different stages of my life. But that part of my life was having the blindfold ripped off as far as how I’ve been trained to operate. Graduating from a business school and going out into the working world, it was insinuated that stress is a part of success. So unlearning that in my body and using the tool of breathwork, I found myself uncovering the layers of trauma that led to the decisions I was making.
Taking that step really unveiled all these repressed emotions. Traumas that my brain suppressed in order to protect me resurfaced, and I had to make peace with that and work through that to find my sense of freedom. There’s a whole chapter on how we can see failure as a tool to journey forward in a way that’s aligned and redefines what we feel is success. A lot of things we find ourselves chasing, we don’t even want. There’s things we see other people have and we convince ourselves that if we have that thing, it’ll do something for our worth. Finding that freedom, really sinking down into our own individual truths and allowing that to be our guide, is a constant unlearning.
I do say often in the book and I have said throughout the work of black girls breathing: I know we’re not free; Black people are not free out in the world. My work has never been to exclude that reality, but to incorporate in the ways that we could feel inner freedom, which is the tool that our ancestors used to get by, to obtain, or seek to thrive. And in the 90 minutes that someone is in a breathwork session with us or on our platform, if they feel that inner freedom, then I’ve done my job.
You begin the book with discussing the intergenerational impact of chronic stress, really making it clear that it didn’t start with us and for us to remain conscious of that. Talk to me about the importance of keeping your lineage in mind when you’re trying to tackle your own nervous system.
There are fears we’ve inherited that have nothing to do with our current reality. With epigenetics, trauma gets passed down through DNA; but on the other side of that coin, trauma can be reprogrammed. We don’t have to stay in that state anymore. We can use breathwork and other tools to work with our subconscious mind to reframe our DNA.
Our grandmothers and great-grandmothers were fearful for their lives when they took a chance or did something that seemed like a risk. So you may be upon a new chapter in life and you’re afraid of that uncertainty and change. You’re navigating a bit more fear than maybe a non-Black person or someone whose lineage hasn’t gone through the significant trauma of fears that have been realized in your bloodline, as far as taking risks and having it equal death and seeing that around them. So understanding that component is something we have to grapple with.
It can feel very taxing to be the person who comes to all the work when everyone else just hasn’t had the capacity or tools to do it. It’s about giving ourselves grace; we are the first ones learning self-care, learning trauma care, routine, learning to prioritize ourselves and implementing those tools existing in a world where it’s still dangerous. It can be dangerous to prioritize ourselves, that’s the reality of our lineage and aspects of our current reality as Black women. So having that self-compassion to know that it’s okay if you’re just learning this; as we get new knowledge, not punishing our former selves for not [having] that knowledge.
And having that self-compassion provides wisdom, too. You’re dealing with wounds your parents had to, and you look at the tools that they had, and you’re like, ‘I understand. I can put some compassion towards what they were navigating.’
I want to double down on that, because in the book you also dismantle the idea that self-care is some sort of luxury. I think a powerful component of breathwork is that our breath comes with us everywhere. We don’t have to buy it. We don’t have to sign up for a subscription service to breathe. Talk to me a little bit about breathwork being an accessible tool to a community that is often robbed of access.
I always say if you’ve been breathing, you’ve technically been doing breathwork. Your body breathes, it knows how to breathe. We just focus our attention on making our breath more intentional. And it’s something that we all have access to if we are alive, it’s why it’s my favorite tool. We’re teaching people how to have better awareness of what their breath is doing in their body during different situations. We tend to stress when the part of our nervous system that’s in ‘fight or flight’ gets activated. When something occurs out in the world, noticing that our breathing gets shallow or we stop breathing, And then if we have that awareness, we can help our body. We can slow down our heart rate, we can stop the blood pressure from amping up, just from our breath. It’s a powerful tool that we all have access to. I loved it so much because differently-abled people within our community can virtually dial in with us and be breathing while feeling a sense of community. That’s important.
You round out the book by delving into the realm of possibility, with encouragement to dive deeper into taking up more space and dreaming. How does reconnecting with your body help you to dream?
Beautiful question, wow. I think the first step in what breathwork does in helping is to dream, is to create capacity for that. If our daily reality is so encompassed with traumas that aren’t addressed, we could have an opportunity that we’re not even viewing as an opportunity. Trauma just gets in the way of our progression, especially if we’re not aware of it. So the breath is providing capacity in the body and in the brain to allow for newness to come in, to not operate in past patterns. The breath allows us to heal from that first, and once that stuff has been set to the side — because we don’t forget our trauma, we can just hold them in a different way than we have in the past and not allow them to overcome us. Then we open up space, literal space, to dream.
It is such a contentious time in our country. I wondered if you could share a quick tip or practice for any Black woman who is just scrolling and comes across a headline, or who was having a normal day and then heard about a new policy? Is there a simple offering you can give?
First things first, I’d tell you to protect your peace and limit your scroll time; be informed but not overconsumed. And I’ll leave you with the oceanic breath practice; in each chapter of the book, there are different breathwork practices. The oceanic is one of my favorites.
So your mouth is going to be wide open, and you’re going to be inhaling into the mouth and exhaling out of the mouth. And the point at which you stop breathing in is when the lungs feel full, and then you go to deplete the lungs on the exhale, and upon that depletion go right back into an inhale. And it sounds like the waves of the ocean, that’s why it’s called an oceanic breath. Just a few rounds of that.
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