Teens at a Table: How Gen Z Really Feels About Curfews, Location Tracking & Gaining Independence

In this episode of Teens at a Table, host Ajani joins SheKnows Teen Council members Sophie (19), Clive (16), and Greta (17) to talk about a milestone every older teen eventually faces: independence — when it starts, what it requires, and how it changes the way they relate to their parents (and their curfews!).

For Greta, the first taste of independence came when she was allowed to walk to school on her own. Sophie called getting her license a turning point: “I think around when I was 16, I probably felt like that was a big jump in my independence because I was able to drive … being able to get to places by yourself is a huge step forward.” Clive’s came in a different way: “I live in a rural area, so I started to be able to go to town and buy my own food and do my own stuff without my parents.”

Greta agreed that early on, independence was mainly anything that involved “not being with your parents,” while Clive pointed out that “if your parents don’t let you go out, ever, you kind of start to think it’s, like, a fun thing … [but] if you’re allowed to go out from a young age… you learn to handle yourself.”

Despite their increasing autonomy, the teens said, their parents still stifle it occasionally. Sophie said, “I feel super boxed in when I’m not on top of my own stuff — they get, like, very strict.” For Greta, it’s her screen time being monitored: “It wasn’t that high, but it was, like, mainly on social media.” Sophie revealed, “My mom was logged into my Instagram for so long … when I was maybe 13 or 14, I just made a Finsta [fake Instagram account] that she wasn’t logged into.”

Curfews were another thing — especially for the college students, who were navigating the territory of being independent at school, then returning home and back to the house rules. “I was pretty shocked that they were giving me curfews … all of a sudden I came home and they were like, ‘Oh, you have to be home at this time,’” reported Sophie. 

On location tracking, though — one area where you might expect the teens to protest — the group was surprisingly chill. “I don’t care,” said Clive. “I track my mom more than she tracks me.” Sophie agreed: “I actually do feel safer with them having it … just in case anything happens.” Greta admitted her mom is “very active on the tracking app,” and Sophie laughed about how it can “expose me with the time that I come home.”

College is a whole new frontier when it comes to independence, and Greta, heading into her senior year of high school, says when it comes to college she’s most nervous about “making friends and finding my people.”

“I was just so nervous about college in general,” Sophie related. “I was worried I wasn’t gonna make friends … but the second I got there, I realized I was really stressed for no reason. Like, I had the best time.” Therapy helped, she said: “Being able to talk about how you feel and have someone that you trust is really important … especially at school when your family’s not there.”

When it came to the hardest part of college life, Sophie said it was “being able to organize what is most urgent … I was always told kind of exactly what to do, and then when I got to college, I was, like, ‘Wait, there’s no instructions.’” For Ajani, it was time management: figuring out “when would be my time for work and studying … when would be my time for seeing my friends or going to the gym.”

The consensus? Independence is exciting, but it’s also a learning curve — one that teens are still navigating in real time. See everything they had to say about it in the video above.

Interested in joining our Teen Council or learning more? Email us at teencouncil@shemedia.com.